Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The First

So here I am, finally starting a blog. I’ve been talking about it forever and now here it is! Where to begin…. I guess I could just start with my recent commitments I’ve made for the new year. I’ve been struggling a lot these past few years with body image and starting to develop self. At the end of the day I always end up with everything I don’t like about myself. Where does that leave me? I’m still me and I haven’t changed anything. So what to do with myself? I’ve recently started the HCG diet, which a lot of people think is stupid or ineffective and honestly, even at the end of this diet if I gained all the weight back it would be worth it. I’ve learned more about myself and my horrid, toxic relationship with food in the past week than I ever knew.
Hear me out,
I’m not saying toxic or horrid in the sense of “I never want to eat again” I’m saying that in the sense of how much I’ve depended on food as an outlet. As well as how litte self control I have with what kinds of foods I’m eating. I’ve learned VERY quickly how addicted to sugars and processed foods I am. It’s hard when you grow up with certain foods not to continue eating them, but I’m not going to keep those habits. Food is a beautiful thing. I LOVE to cook it. However, too much or too little of it (which has been my life story) can be a horrid thing. So far, I’ve lost 9 lbs. I’ve also noticed how much less I’m starting to crave sugars and bread. My skin has started to clear and my moods have been pretty consistent. It’s amazing how much can be contributed to what we eat. I won’t lie, I started this diet with the intention of just losing weight but it’s become a way to rest my digestive tract (which I’ve been killing for years) and reinvent the way I see food.
Also, I’m only taking 3 classes this semester. I’ve decided it’s time for me to do some resting. I’ve been running so fast I can’t seem to find myself or what I want a degree in. Sort of late in the game I know but better now than never right? I’m going to start cooking more and saving for something special. I’m not sure what yet but we’ll see. I just know I’m sick of my money going to things that don’t matter. Clothes, fast food, unnecessary spending, blah blah blah. I want to make memories! Isn’t that what life is about?
Well I guess that’s all for now.
I’ll post more later and hopefully eventually I’ll post some cooking!


  1. Honestly I have no idea what the HCG diet is, haha, but I'm excited for you to have this journey. :) Mostly, I'm so excited to hear that you're going to have more time to REST. And you know, one thing you could save for is a trip to CA... j/k. But seriously. :) hahaha I love you!!

  2. Brettin i love you hahaha

    always supportive! I saw some pictures of California today and it make me really want to visit. I miss Northern Cali!!!

  3. I love it! I really do. With both of us blogging...makes me think of the good ole days when we would endlessly journal. Love you!